Monday, February 13, 2012
In bed that night I invented a special drain that would be underneath every pillow in New York, and would connect to the resevior. Whenever people cried themselves to sleep, the tears would all go to the same place, and in the morning the weatherman could report if the water level of the resevior of tears had gone up or down, and you could know if New York was in heavy boots. And if something really terrible happened – like a nuclear bomb, or atleast a biological weapons attack – and extremely loud siren would go off, telling everyone to get to Central Park to put sandbags around the resevior.

Jonathan Safran Foer